The Dress (revised)
They came from all over town to see the simple country dress suspended in the summer heat two hundred feet above and to wonder what had happened to the body that once inhabited it and when the light...
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this is so so cool - i'd drop "even the Energizer Bunny stopped drumming" because you pulled me out of the dream and into commercials. but i like muchly and i add more but i am talking to you on...
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love cotton dresses that float around doing their floaty thang. I live in cotton dresses, and when its time to dunk the pugs you can just tie em up like a washer woman. love the butterflies on the...
View ArticleRe: The Dress (revised)
Hi Ray, I love this scenario and all the details and character that creates it. This is well done and reminds of those people who gather to see the face of Mother Theresa in a bagel, The face of Jesus...
View ArticleRe: The Dress (revised)
you knew I'd love this one, didn'tja'. okay, just a sug or two: I wonder if in the line like dogs hearing the music of a higher distant frequency (though it's growing on me) would be helped if you...
View ArticleRe: The Dress (revised)
of all you have up here at the moment, this is my favorite. i just love it.
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ah thanks so much lass, wendy, doug and pj! I made those changes, doug... the Jesus in the Cheetos was the latest alleged 'jesus sighting'
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I like it. its too cool ray. fun police will haul you in handcuffed. nice edit.
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thanks, lass... it's been so long...i forgot how to write or comment...lol but maybe editing's a start... I'm off to work but will try to check in later.... keep up the good work!
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hey ray- great read here. just like those in the crowd, i couldnt take my eyes away...read all the way through in a single breath. dq
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I love the revision: and am so excited to read a Ray poem. I'm not crazy about the double spacing but that is my own personal taste. Just some quick thoughts on my take on a few lines and revision....
View ArticleRe: The Dress (revised)
thanks, diego and kerri... i didnt mean for it to be double-spaced...not sure how it came out here that way... i think i like the ending as is... will consider some of your tightening measures......
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